Badass sex advice from Charlotte and Chris Rose

Did you lose your sex drive? Libido in shambles? Trying to find a way to reconnect with your lover? Allow me to introduce you to Charlotte Rose and her spouse, Chris. They are the masterminds behind Pleasure Mechanics. They are all about erotic touch and practical sex ed. In fact, as soon as I saw some of their videos, I knew I had to have them on the blog to share a few of their secrets. I especially love what they have to say about the misconception that sex just magically happens in a relationship. And we’re off…

You and Chris have many years of sex education under your belts. How did you get started in sex ed?

Chris and I are both dedicated to teaching men and women how to have more fulfilling sex lives through the power of erotic touch and couples massage. We share a passion for pleasure, but arrived at this shared commitment from very different paths.

I was a massage therapist and my regular clients kept confiding in me about their sexless, touchless marriages. I felt compassion for them and wanted to help couples enjoy more touch and connection. Meanwhile, I am a woman who had always enjoyed sex, but often was made to feel guilty and ashamed of my sexuality. I became dedicated to helping women integrate sexual pleasure as a healthy, wholesome part of their life.

Meanwhile, Chris had become a sex educator out of a commitment to help trauma survivors reclaim sexual pleasure. Chris had been a sex educator since high school, and has a real gift for teaching. She was teaching a graduate program at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, where I enrolled as a student. We definitely noticed one another during the class, but didn’t talk until a few months later. Out of our mutual commitment to teaching the skills of pleasure, we started PleasureMechanics.com three months into dating, and have been going strong ever since. Now we are married with a baby on the way.

Congratulations! Wow. That is exciting news! Since you and Chris have been doing this for a number of years, what is the most common question or concern you get from your community?

We get a ton of email from people from all around the world. The most common question is some version of “where did my sex drive go and how can I get it back?” When we talk to these men and women, they all have one thing in common: stress.

Stress is enemy #1 of libido. You can’t get aroused if you are stressed out, and many people have a hard time relaxing after their busy days. For anyone looking to slay stress and relax into pleasure, we recommend learning couples massage. In our massage video guides, we teach five minute sequences so you can enjoy the benefits of massage no matter how busy you are.

Once people learn how to relax, they find that they are much more open to receiving pleasure and sharing intimacy with their lover, and their long lost libido comes rushing back.

If you could only share one tip or technique with people seeking to have great sex, what would you share?

If you want to have great sex, the most important thing to learn is how to touch your lover with confidence.

Hands are the ultimate sex toy (and you never need to change the batteries!). From relaxing massage to arousing full body touch, from clitoral stimulation to g-spot orgasms, hands are the ultimate tool for creating pleasure and arousal. Taking some time to learn how to use your hands well will serve your lovers many times over.

Most couples experience dry spells in their sex lives. Life gets in the way. Stress piles on. Differing needs arise. How do you keep things interesting and hot in the bedroom?

To maintain a happy and exciting sex life over the years, you have to create what we call a Culture of Pleasure in your relationship. You need to commit to creating a life together that supports both of you as independent sexual beings and together as a couple. This means taking time to relax, sharing lots of daily affection, being kind to one another, and other habits that keep you both happy and feeling sexy. This approach may sound basic, but when you really pay attention to how you treat one another, it can be amazing to realize how little time you take to cultivate your love and eroticism. You may spend more time on Facebook than you do being intimate with your partner.

You are the creator of your own sex life. With a pleasurable foundation within your relationship in place, you can then begin to invest in connecting and cultivating more pleasure in your bodies together. We are here to guide you as you create the most fulfilling, fabulous sex life you can imagine.

What do you think is the single biggest misconception around sex?

The biggest misconception is that sex “just happens” when the chemistry is right. People forget that a happy sex life is something you actively make happen, just like fitness, career success and great friendships. If you want a great sex life, you must actively create it. And because everyone has a unique sexuality, to be truly sexually satisfied you must be willing to explore who you are as a sexual being, discover your authentic desires and learn how to ask for what you want.

You and Chris have both been certified in some really cool techniques like Somatic Sexology and Bodywork. What is your favorite thing to teach? And what is something you’d like to learn more about at some point?

We really love teaching the art of erotic touch. Erotic touch is the foundation of masterful foreplay and great sex. When you learn how to use your hands to masterfully touch your lover’s body, so many new levels of arousal and pleasure open up. We offer all of these techniques through video so you can learn in the privacy of your own home. Learning how to use your hands gives you so much confidence and swagger as a lover. It is so amazing to get emails from couples who are rediscovering their passion for one another after years of boredom and frustration.

Hands and fingers are my favorite thing in the world, so I am a big fan of erotic touch. You also have a fantastic YouTube channel for Pleasure Mechanics. What are some of your favorite videos? And what kinds of responses have you gotten to them?

We love making YouTube videos, but have been repeatedly censored by YouTube for the sexual nature of our videos. We once had 3 million views, and then a whole set of our videos were taken down from the site. We now focus on our podcast, Speaking of Sex, where we can have candid and honest conversations about sex without worrying about censorship. People really love that we give honest, practical advice – we’ve been called the cooking show of sex because we are so friendly and down to earth.

Dylan and I love what you’re doing with your podcast. There just cannot be enough honest, candid talk about sex and pleasure. So, what’s next for you and Chris and Pleasure Mechanics?

We are in the process of creating courses for men, women, and couples to help people have even better sex. We are really excited about what they can make possible for people. Personally we are getting ready to have a baby, so we will begin living how to incorporate being parents and keeping a sex life alive so we can better teach from our personal experience.

We have just launched our Pleasure Mechanics community which we are very excited about! It is a private, anonymous community on the web where people can have totally honest conversations and be supported by others and see that their sexual concerns and struggles are shared with others and that they are not alone. We offer free personalized sex advice to individuals from around the globe at PleasureMechanics.com and we noticed that so many people ask for similar kinds of reassurance, so we wanted people to have a space where even though they might feel alone they could see that they are not. Sex is private but it also is cultural and seeing what we have in common can be very calming and reassuring. We are so happy to provide a space where we get to interact personally with our amazing community and help people have even better sex lives. Everyone is invited to this party.

[note title=”How to find Chris and Charlotte”]Chris and Charlotte Rose, The Pleasure Mechanics, share proven strategies and practical advice so you can unlock more sexual pleasure and unleash your full erotic potential. At PleasureMechanics.com they offer a full suite of multimedia online courses so you can learn how to become a masterful lover and have the amazing sex life you deserve.

Both trained massage therapists and certified sexologists, Chris and Charlotte believe touch is the foundation of sexual intimacy, and have gathered their thousands of hours of massage and sex training into practical, effective techniques.

Their work has reached men and women in over 60 countries around the world and their videos are bestsellers on Amazon. They are also hosts of the Speaking of Sex podcast, a show dedicated to candid and useful sex advice. Learning massage and erotic touch techniques not only makes you a better lover, but also offers profound benefits to your relationship! And when you learn to translate your new massage skills to your lover’s most sensitive parts, you unlock new realms of pleasure and connection. Chris and Charlotte have witnessed the life changing results of mastering the art of erotic touch, and are here to guide you every step of the way.[/note]