Hi! I’m a therapeutic sex and relationship coach (and currently working on my Masters in Counselling). I believe that we heal in relationship. My job is to create a space where you can explore the kind of healing you want to invite in without having to do it alone. I’m all about doing this work from a place of playfulness, curiosity, empathy, and imperfection.

I can never be an expert in your life and I know you don’t exist in a vacuum.

The world around you, the family you grew up in, the traumas you’ve survived, the oppression you’ve experienced have all had an impact on who you are and how you show up in the world.

My biggest hope is to help you tap into the wisdom and truth that you already possess and to leverage it with more presence and purpose. You’re pretty magnificent!

I am a white, fat, cis, queer, survivor, and I’ve been doing this work for quite a long time. I did not get here alone and naming who has influenced me and informed my practice is super important. You can find that in the longer version down below along with more about my personal story, my values, and why I do this work.

We live in a culture that does not equip us with the basic tools we need to talk about sex, to understand our bodies, to tap into our deepest desires, and to unpack the stories we’ve inherited about our worthiness.

Here's what I know:

You deserve pleasure. You deserve to explore what the erotic means for you. You deserve to exist in your body in a way that honors your story and desires. But most of us aren’t taught how to do that, especially as we navigate trauma, complicated relationships with food and body, and myths about what romance, love, and sex should look like.

In fact, the world around us is pretty darn good at teaching us that we aren’t enough, that our bodies are broken or ugly, that our pleasure isn’t valuable, that we should tolerate as much as we can to avoid rocking the boat, and that our voices don’t matter. It tells us that the only way to be lovable and worthy is to look a certain way, to have sex a certain number of times, and to hope that happily ever after is possible if we just check enough boxes.

We’ve been taught not to trust ourselves.

We’ve been encouraged to seek external validation.

We’ve been forced to carry other people’s stories which is the source of our shame and shrinking, our frustration and confusion.

It’s the reason why so many of us only know how to perform love and sex instead of deeply experiencing it.

You exist in a world that never bothered to ask you what it’s like to live in your body, that never bothered to ask what you want most, on your terms.

I’m asking now. I want to help you reveal to yourself the power and freedom that come with prioritizing your pleasure.

My job is not to offer quick fixes, empty platitudes, or grandiose promises. My job is not to pretend I am an expert in your body or your experiences.

My job is to journey beside you with endless curiosity, to help you ask yourself new (and sometimes scary) questions that tap into your innate wisdom, your boundless pleasure, and the connection you want to cultivate.

And, if I’m doing my job well, it’s to do it all with a sense of adventure and delight.

I received my Bachelor’s in business leadership and management with a concentration in communication (which helps with the work I do with budding sex educators and therapists).

I spent 17 years at a Fortune 150 as a leadership coach and manager in IT. I secretly ran a sex toy business on the side which was my first foray into sexuality. Selling sex toys gave me a chance to interact with thousands of women around their insecurities and fantasies.

I got a peek into just how ashamed, scared, and unprepared most of us are when it comes to admitting and talking about our experience.

I was hooked, because I was struggling with the same things.

I am now completing my Masters in Counselling and will soon be opening a therapeutic private practice specializing in trauma, body, and relationships.

• Received my foundations certificate in Narrative Therapy which is a therapeutic approach that seeks to overturn centuries of rich, white dudes believing they have the answer and instead centers YOU as the expert in your life;
• Became a Certified Body Trust® Provider using Be Nourished's rich, gentle framework for body trust and healing our relationship with food;
• Finished training in OEI (One Eye Integration) - a gentler EMDR-like approach - for treating trauma as well as Integrative Somatic Parts Work Levels 1, 2, and 3;
• Completed Anti-Racist Summer School with the African-American Policy Forum;
• Done Level 1 & Level 2 in Gottman Method Couples’ Therapy, which taught me all about cultivating and nourishing thriving relationships as well as the warning signs of a relationship that's on the road to crumbling;
• Completed Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy Level 1 and 2, which takes an anti-patriarchal approach to love and relationships;
• Attended Reid Mihalko’s Sex Geek Summer Camp and Tristan Taormino’s Sex Educator Boot Camp to hone my sex educator skills;
• Volunteered at a radical feminist newsjournal until I realized how deeply anti-trans, anti-sex work, & anti-femme they were. I left in a blaze of rage;
• Organized the Washington DC Pro-Choice book club for seven years & read hundreds of books on sexuality, body autonomy, parenthood, politics, legislation, and the stories of women's bodies;
• Spoken at universities, presented at numerous conferences, and written on queer issues and sexuality; and,
• Created a curiosity-driven weekly feminist podcast called Sex Gets Real, that as of summer 2019, has been downloaded over 6 million times.

I’m deeply inspired by adrienne maree brown’s Emergent Strategy, pleasure activism, and community healing; Betty Martin's work on giving and receiving (mindblowing!); Cristien Storm’s work on boundary-setting; Be Nourished & their work in pushing against diet culture and deprivation; Sonya Renee Taylor’s vision of radical self-love and embodiment; the recognition that trauma is both an individual and a collective experience as explored by Generative Somatics and Somatic Experiencing; the rawness of artists like Roxane Gay and Hannah Gadsby; the fierce labor around racism and body liberation by Desiree Adaway, McKenzie Mack, and Mia Mingus; and the beautifully curated work of Gloria Lucas’ Nalgona Positivity Pride.

I also adore Emily Nagoski’s research around desire and libido, Esther Perel’s thoughts on infidelity and the erotic, Feminista Jones’ unwavering commitment to linking sexuality and racial justice, Shilo George speaking to weight bias and harm in the medical community as well as her indigenous work and wisdom, and I adore art by Amira Rahim and Brian Andreas. There are so many more that I haven’t named...

I work for liberation across the board: in my own mind, in your life, and for the world at large.

I center play as much as I can in my life. A few of my favorite things are my cats, cooking, reading, swimming, and making up ridiculous spontaneous games with my co-pilot in life, Alex.

I am a fat-bodied, queer, survivor who got married at the age of 37 to a much younger Canadian.

I've always known how to talk about sex, but it wasn't until I failed my way through a lot of insecurities and hurt that I started learning how to ask better questions and started healing my relationship with myself in the process.

My sexual identity has morphed and shifted over the years: straight, lesbian, queer, kinky. I never let the labels be something that prevented me from changing.

Repeated trauma left me with anxiety and PTSD, but it also gifted me with a FIERCELY unapologetic approach to understanding the wisdom of my body and exploring my edges on my terms.

When a seven-year long relationship ended in 2013, I was confronted with my own fears about my fat body and believing no one could ever want me. I learned I’d had a lifetime of disordered eating, of silencing my anger, of tolerating relationships that were based on scarcity and fear rather than abundance and generosity.

In 2014, I launched the Sex Gets Real podcast with my dear friend Dylan to talk about sex and relationships. A year later, I left my corporate job to start speaking and working one-on-one with clients full-time, and I leapt towards my deepest passion in life.

All of it, every single bit of it, brought me here. To this moment with you.

The work that I do is about honoring everything that brought you here. The good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between.

Our culture is only just beginning to understand the importance of open communication, vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and the uniqueness of each of our experiences. There aren’t many places to turn to when you have questions about your body, about why your relationship feels so stuck, or why it’s so damn scary to ask for what you want.

This is the work that I do.

I’ve tried my hardest to ensure you have a variety of ways to work with me & to receive the skills and support you may need for whatever situation you might be in.

Your pleasure matters.

Your relationship with your body is crucial.

The ways you communicate with the people you love most determine the kinds of support and connection you experience.

Your doubts, fears, and stories can be held, nurtured, and rewritten.

I’d love to work with you, to create something powerful with you, and to help you discover the path towards what you most desire.

Interested to know more about my approach? Check out my Ethical Statement.