Are you destroying trust and intimacy with these tiny reactions?

It’s confession time again. In my two previous relationships, I was a master microaggressor. I didn’t know it at the time – in fact, I felt quite justified and righteous in how I handled our disagreements and disappointments. I was in the right, after all. Looking back, I see now how damaging those little looks, eye rolls, & tiny sarcastic remarks were …

What the pros know: the (not-so-secret) secret to great sex

Recently, at the end of a long and powerful session with one of my clients, I made a little joke to her about all of my sex failures. She stopped and looked at me, and then said: “I find that hard to believe. You’re so awesome at…everything.” Um. That couldn’t be farther from the truth, and I said as much. In fact, …

You don’t need to love your body to have amazing sex

I don’t know how you feel about your body, but the relationship that I have with my body is deep, complex, and not at all consistent. Over the years, I’ve been quite mean to both my body and myself. In fact, there was a time when I believed myself to be so undesirable that I almost cried when a lover …

Eliminate these three words to improve your sexual confidence

I’ve noticed an epidemic in my life and in the lives of my clients. The more I look and listen, the more I realize it’s everywhere. We’re all suffocating beneath layers of guilt, shame, comparison, and fear all because of three little words. This is especially true when it comes to sex and the way we view our bodies. You may …

Keeping sex fun (hint: when’s the last time you smiled in bed?)

When was the last time you laughed in the middle of sex? Genuinely, honestly laughed? Last week, my partner and I were deep in a rope bondage scene – my ankles were bound in rope cuffs, I was nearly immobilized, and things were intense and serious. Growls and gasps and grunts abounded. And then…something completely unexpected happened – one of our …