Are you destroying trust and intimacy with these tiny reactions?

It’s confession time again. In my two previous relationships, I was a master microaggressor. I didn’t know it at the time – in fact, I felt quite justified and righteous in how I handled our disagreements and disappointments. I was in the right, after all. Looking back, I see now how damaging those little looks, eye rolls, & tiny sarcastic remarks were …

What the pros know: the (not-so-secret) secret to great sex

Recently, at the end of a long and powerful session with one of my clients, I made a little joke to her about all of my sex failures. She stopped and looked at me, and then said: “I find that hard to believe. You’re so awesome at…everything.” Um. That couldn’t be farther from the truth, and I said as much. In fact, …

You don’t need to love your body to have amazing sex

I don’t know how you feel about your body, but the relationship that I have with my body is deep, complex, and not at all consistent. Over the years, I’ve been quite mean to both my body and myself. In fact, there was a time when I believed myself to be so undesirable that I almost cried when a lover …

Keeping sex fun (hint: when’s the last time you smiled in bed?)

When was the last time you laughed in the middle of sex? Genuinely, honestly laughed? Last week, my partner and I were deep in a rope bondage scene – my ankles were bound in rope cuffs, I was nearly immobilized, and things were intense and serious. Growls and gasps and grunts abounded. And then…something completely unexpected happened – one of our …