Sex Gets Real 79: A sub asks for help with her Dom

Sometimes you just have to ask.

Listeners, if you’re in the DC area and you’re a sex educator of some sort, you HAVE to join Dawn at Tristan Taormino’s Sex Educator Bootcamp on October 18th. Our listeners get 25% off with code “deal25”. Check out details and register here.

Dawn and Dylan are back in the studio after being apart for a month. We talk about the sex adventures we’ve had over the past few weeks, including some yummy Domme’ing in L.A. that Dawn did.

A listener, Baby, wrote in asking for our advice on how to ask her Dom to be more controlling and demanding, so we talk about all the fun ways you can play with asking for what you want in a relationship that has a power exchange.

If you’re in the Atlanta area, also be sure to check out Sex Down South, a brand new sex conference happening October 15-17. Dawn will be there representing the podcast, and a ton of awesome folks are speaking on everything sex positive, kink, and racial justice.

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Episode breakdown

  • 0:07 – We are whipping and nae nae-ing.
  • 1:11 – Dawn went up to NYC to perform on stage with Sex Ed a Go Go. It was a blast. Stay tuned for a link to their podcast.
  • 1:45 – No, Dawn is not go-go dancing.
  • 2:18 – In the DC area and a sex educator? Join Dawn for Tristan Taormino’s Sex Educator Bootcamp on October 18th. Our listeners get 25% off when you register and use coupon code deal25.
  • 3:36 – Dawn is also taking the podcast on the road to Sex Down South, a new sex positive conference in Atlanta George October 15-17th. You should definitely join us if you’re in the area.
  • 4:40 – Have we had any fun sex adventures lately?
  • 5:28 – Speaking of sex…wait, what else do we talk about?
  • 6:01 – Our listener, Baby, wrote in about her Dominance/submission situation. She wants her Dom to be more controlling and demanding, but it seems he’s getting softer with her as their relationship gets more meaningful. What to do?
  • 7:50 – Dylan definitely doesn’t want to see the money shot in porn. Cover the screen!
  • 8:35 – If you want something different, even in a D/s relationship, you’re going to have to ask for it.
  • 9:07 – Dylan likes night invasions of her wife. Dirty lesbian.
  • 9:28 – Dawn did a little Domme’ing scene recently where she blindfolded him, stripped him naked, and made him stand in the window while she did yummy things.
  • 10:28 – Let’s talk about negotiating needs in a power exchange relationship, shall we?
  • 11:10 – Hinting almost never works. Unless you can nudge someone’s hand a little or do a little shift, you’re just going to have to speak up and ask for what you want and need. Communication, people!
  • 11:58 – You can make the conversation really hot and sexy. Dawn offers an example that is juicy.
  • 13:45 – Being a sweet Dom doesn’t have to mean it’s not also super mean and controlling. There’s a way to make your threats terrifying while being super loving and sweet.
  • 14:51 – Dawn has some assignments this week after misbehaving in a scene herself. Oops.
  • 15:58 – Passing out from orgasms can be fun.
  • 17:54 – If you live in a 24/7 dynamic with power exchange, it can be difficult to share your needs and use your voice, but there are still ways to get creative in many situations.
  • 19:08 – No surprise here that Dylan would be a total brat if she was a sub.
  • 20:00 – Power dynamics can be total mindfuckery.

And be sure to pin, share, and Instagram this bad boy

On this week's episode of Sex Gets Real, Dawn and Dylan talk about their latest sex adventures, plus a listener needs advice on how to ask her Dom to be more controlling and demanding. As a submissive, she doesn't want to be bossy, but she needs more.